Fear of Marriage: Signs He Cannot Bring Himself to Say “I Do”

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Published on: March 17, 2016

 

For most people, getting married is a definite sign of lifelong commitment that encompasses emotional loyalty as it promises that one would remain monogamous throughout the union. While this is enticing to most of us, others don’t feel the same. For some people, spending the rest of your life with a single person—even just the thought of it—is frightening. This strong, nagging fear of marriage, which some people fear even more than death, is known as gamophobia.

Marriage-fears

A gamophobic person may still be involved in a relationship however, when the idea of marriage is brought to the table, he/she gets irrationally fearful and nervous. Gamophobia is pretty common to people all over the world but this usually occurs to men. There are various factors that can cause it, such as financial risks or personal insecurity, unpleasant related incident, anxiety and other social factors that come along with matrimony.

In a less evil comparison, a person who is emotionally unavailable for the time being is easier to deal with than that of a gamophobe because treatments and counseling for gamophobia usually take a long time and are very specific to the person’s needs, depending on the severity of the fear. If you suspect that either you or your partner is going through a similar issue, these major symptoms (for both men and women) might help you gauge red flags and figure things out on what to do:

  1. Ill-temper, heart palpitations and panic attacks when marriage is discussed. Gamophobic people tend to change their moods from being happy and calm to being annoyed and anxious when the topic of marriage is brought up, especially when asked about his/her own thoughts about settling down. In addition, the feeling of nervousness becomes evident when confronted about it.

 

  1. Physical discomforts such as trouble in breathing, sweating, dizziness and vomiting. These physical reactions are sure fire signs of disgust and avoidance of commitment. It may sometimes be perceived as irrational or over reacting but are normal behaviors of a gamophobic person.

An anxious man

 

  1. Vague plans (if any) about starting a family in the future. A gamophobic person’s plan and reasoning about family life entails misleading information and uncertainty, which often becomes hurtful to his/her partner.

 

  1. Criticizing one’s partner for discussing marriage. A gamophobic person may pick a fight with his/her partner for bringing up the topic of long-term commitment, especially when it’s brought up during a social gathering.

 

  1. Indulgence in flings or casual relationships. For most gamophobic people, they often engage into open relationships where expectations are less and most importantly, there is no commitment. This type of arrangement brings them the freedom to have multiple partners or casual flings.

Gamophobia may be a challenging issue to be surpassed, but all it takes is making a diligent effort in understanding one’s psychological issues and seeking external guidance. In most cases, it is usually helpful to go back to the roots where the fear has begun and reconcile things. After all, marriage is a gift for a lifetime that should not be compromised just because of fear.

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A Modern Woman’s Guide to Getting Over a Break-Up

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Published on: March 6, 2016

 

There is no such thing as a small heartache for a woman. Women are born emotional. Coping with a heartbreak from a relationship in which she has invested effort and time is difficult. All the cliches in the world cannot patch that burning hole in her fragile soul. Most ladies can relate to this all too familiar situation. And it does not necessarily have to be an own experience to relate to it. Sometimes these situations transform someone into the comforting girl friend who has no idea what to do with a friend with a troubled heart. A modern woman’s heart, while vulnerable, can still be nursed back to its recovery with these unconventional ways:

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  1. Cry-it-out method. Apparently this is not only applicable for newborn babies. Most parents allow their newborns to cry their hearts out because this is believed to strengthen their lungs. A woman from a recent break up must also be allowed to do so even if it means having drinking sessions for consecutive days. She must be allowed to vent out all her frustrations until she is numb of the pain anymore. When she reaches rock bottom, she will realize how ridiculous and how overly dramatic she has been acting for days. This realization is a significant step towards recovery!

 

  1. Look at the mirror often. So she probably lost the sole reason why she has been spending hours in front of the mirror to check if she’s got the right shade of blush-on for her cheeks. It is quite normal to lose interest on one’s own looks each passing day after a break-up. This is precisely why it is advised to make it a habit to look at the mirror often. Every woman has that inner vanity within them. When she sees her zombie-like appearance from all the sleepless nights, she herself will make a conscious effort to appear better. One must not underestimate the power of make-up. A dab of lipstick and eye-liner have the magic to make a woman feel beautiful again – inside and out.

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  1. Make others smile. If a woman is suffering from a breakup, she must not expect the whole world to sympathize with her. A few close friends will probably do – but her boss and most of her officemates will do not. While her world has temporarily stopped turning, the rest of the world has gone on with their everyday lives. These are actually positive distractions. Even if she cannot make herself smile, she will be able to make others smile if she wants to. A compliment on an officemate’s new haircut or a colleague’s promotion will definitely bring a smile to their faces. When someone makes others feel good, chances are, she will feel good herself.

 

  1. Focus on both the positive and negative. They say that a woman must focus on the positive lessons learned from a failed relationship. While this is a good advice, one must also realize that focusing on the negative will also give her the clarity that she needs. Being in love gives a woman love goggles where she can see only the good qualities of her partner. Now that the relationship has ended, she can consider taking time in focusing on his negative attributes. She might actually end up realizing that the breakup did more good than harm in totality!

 

With all these in mind, a modern woman who just experienced a break-up will be able to pick up the pieces of her shattered heart and start anew again!

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